Making Decisions Is Talking Turkey

Customer: “Can I have a pound of turkey, please?”

Me: “Which kind would you like, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m sorry… what do you mean, ‘which kind’?”

Me: “We have over a dozen different kinds of turkey.”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no. I’m not making decisions. I’m on vacation. You’re not getting me to make any decisions. I’m on vacation so I won’t have to deal with that stuff.”

Me: “Then how can I know which kind of turkey you want, ma’am?”

Customer: “Turkey. TUR-KEY. You know, gobble gobble! What’s so hard about that?!”

Me: “Well, do you want plain, sweet, smoked or spicy?”

Customer: “NO! I’M NOT MAKING DECISIONS! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME MAKE A DECISION! I WANT F***ING TURKEY!”

Me: *deadpan* “You want me to pick for you.”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “All righty.”

(I grab the nearest package of turkey without looking at it and cut her a sample slice.)

Customer: “This is gross! Why would you pick this flavor?!”

Me: “Well, that’s what sometimes happens when you don’t pick the flavor you want, ma’am.”

Customer: “Whatever! Just give me a pound of that gross s***!”

-> Making Decisions Is Talking Turkey

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