Serving Spider-man

(I’m working concession when a customer runs up to me, freaking out.)

Customer #1: “There’s a tarantula!”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Customer #1: “A freaking tarantula just ran across my foot!”

(I have never once in my 30 years of life seen a tarantula just running around anywhere I’ve been locally. I go over to look, and lo and behold… there’s the biggest freaking tarantula I’ve ever seen on the floor over by the front doors. Thing looks like it could eat a rat in two bites and still be hungry. I call a manager who tries to get it out safely, but sadly he’s forced to kill it because it became aggressive. The customer who reported it to us talks to us for a few minutes and jokes around about the whole matter, as they have never seen a tarantula in the area either. A few minutes later, a man comes out of a theater and starts looking around the area where the tarantula was… With a confused look on his face, he comes up to the box office.)

Customer #2: “Did you see a tarantula here?”

Me: “Uh, yeah?”

Customer #2: “Oh, did he get out?”

Me: “Wait, you knew there was a tarantula on the floor?”

Customer #2: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you didn’t tell anyone?”

Customer #2: “Well, I brought him in.”

(I can’t even think of how to respond.)

Customer #2: “Oh, I just got in from out of state. I found him in my car. I brought him in and set him on the floor. I figured, the way people spill food everywhere, he’d have plenty to eat here. Where is he?”

Me: “They killed it because he tried attacking a manager. Dude… are you serious? You set a live tarantula loose in the theater?”

Customer #2: “Yeah. I’d like to speak to a manager. I can’t believe you’d kill such a beautiful creature.”

(I send him over to the manager’s desk, in complete shock over what I’m hearing. A few minutes later, I hear the most insane thing I’ve ever heard being shouted by my manager.)

Manager: “Are you seriously asking me for a refund because we killed a tarantula YOU set loose in the theater? No! Get out, now!”

(I swear to god… I’m genuinely sorry that I’m not making one word of this up.)

-> Serving Spider-man

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