March 29/2017 (Again)

So, another post the same day….

I thought I changed Facebook’s settings, to not show her posts on my News Feed first anymore. I’m sure I did, but I guess not….

She seems to be doing good, but on my News Feed right at the top just now, is a post basically saying she’s moved on. I really hate you right now Facebook….

Nice to know I meant so little to you, after all I did on Saturday, with coming to the hospital & everything, because you know exactly how difficult it was/ is for me to get to the city, even though it’s only 1 hr away (weather & road conditions depending)…. But I twisted arms on Saturday morning, until I could get there to be with you…. & didn’t expect everything that happened on Sunday to happen, considering Saturday….

That ends this post….


March 29/2017

Sorry for the “basic” titles for each post, but I don’t know what else to title them.
Things have been going decent, considering the events of this past weekend, & Monday….

Sunday night I had actually gotten advice from a good friend, I’ve been friends basically since 2 years old.
However, taking into consideration I was told she wouldn’t have answered me, while it was good advice & I was definitely going to “use”/ take that advice, that didn’t play out well, because I was told she wouldn’t have answered me anyways…. & then considering Monday she removed me from her relationship status, it wouldn’t have worked well. I’m still hopeful we’ll talk again, because when I asked her if we could talk still on Sunday (March 26/2017) she said “Not right now. I think it’s best if we don’t.”, & I personally believe that we will talk again. If she had said no to talking still, instead then that would’ve meant to me, we’re not talking again.

Now, onto other news, regarding radio posts & such. I have posts for everything titled appropriately & marked as pending, I just gotta get around to actually typing about them. I am hopeful that Vlogs may start this summer, but, considering how slow YouTube has uploaded for me in the past, basically rendering my Internet unusable for anyone for the duration of the upload, it may not happen. The Internet has been good recently, while I haven’t tried doing any uploads of any type recently, it’s been loading pages quickly.

Also related to the blog, I do try post near the end of my day (personal stuff), but sometimes I just gotta post just after midnight because I have thoughts that need to be typed out while they’re “fresh” in my mind. So some days, there will be 2 personal posts like March 28, but I’ll be trying to re-cap my day before midnight each night. Majority of the “personal” posts, will be titled like this one, with the date.
The only exception to one post per day, is any post about airsoft gear, radios, etc. as I once I start posting them, I may post 1 or 2 the same day, maybe 3, depending on how much time I have. Airsoft gear, radios, etc. posts will be titled with what the post is about. Normally these types of posts, the main subject will only be about one piece of gear/ one radio, but can & probably will tie into a past post I’ve made, or a future post that will be made. It’s also possible that some gear posts/ reviews may be accompanied by a YouTube upload as well. In that case, the link to the YouTube video will be included


March 28/2017 (Again)

My 2nd post today.
Only reason there’s 2 posts today, is because my first one was made just after midnight (12:30 AM) for me, before I went to sleep.

Anyways, how am I doing? I honestly don’t know…. I’d like to say I’ve “come to terms” with the fact she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to see each other again & that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea right now to talk to each other, but that’d be a complete B.S. lie.
How do you actually “come to terms” with something like that, when someone who was basically ur world (for a month) just up & walks out of your life, 1-2 days after you came all that way & saw them in the hospital, even though they were released the same day? I don’t think anybody really knows.

Anyways, on to a partial blog “update”.

I’m hoping to start posting reviews & just my general experience with some two way radios I’ve owned & used in the past, along with the ones I use currently, along with any respective accessories I use with them. I will only be posting about my experience/ reviews with radios I’ve owned & had a chance to use for at least a month. I have not been offered a radio to test & then review by any company yet, mainly because I’ve just started. The main “well known” brand of radio I have used & still do use is Motorola, specifically their XPR 6550.

Each brand of radio or radio accessory I’ve owned will have its own category. Some categories such as “Amazon” & “BuyTwoWayRadios”, are not really a brand, but rather where I purchased that particular accessory from.

Anyways, stay tuned for posts about every radio I’ve owned, starting with the very first one (Puxing PX-888K)


March 28/2017

Likely going to be a short post.

Yesterday (Monday) I ended up texting her roommate when I woke up to see if she was okay & because I figured she wouldn’t answer me herself. Her roommate said I was right, she won’t be answering me, but yes she is doing okay.

Well about 20 mins ago, I seen her online on Facebook & then gone within 10 mins, so I decided to check my profile. Before this, I figured she’d come back because I was still tagged in her relationship status. Well, I no longer am. Her profile says there’s no relationship info to show….

Taking into consideration the fact her roommate said she wouldn’t have answered/ won’t answer any messages from me, it’s looking like it’s over between us….


March 27/2017

Sunday night was okay….

Me & her video called at one point, but that was only because she was drinking & completely hammered. We also ended up talking a few mins starting at 2:30 this morning, again because she was drunk…. which I don’t mind. I’m not controlling what she does, & it let’s me know she’s still okay, apart from being drunk.

I ended up texting her roommate when I woke up to see if she was okay & because I figured she wouldn’t answer me herself. Her roommate said I was right, she won’t be answering me, but yes she is doing okay.

I honestly need to get into Capital Airsoft/ Force on Force Tactical sometime & just do a game for the entire day I’m there, to “release” some feelings. lol. Like when you get that feeling, & you just need to hit or shoot something to let it out? Yep, that’s exactly what I need.

Not being rude, but I’m hoping some of the future posts will not be about her.

This is probably one of my shorter posts I’ve made recently.




March 26/2017

So… where do I start….

Friday night, she & her roommate started drinking because her roommate got red dye in her hair & was freaking out.
At one point while her roommate was throwing up from drinking, she was laying down & started talking about, if she should go to the hospital or not, because of how she’s feeling & these thoughts she’s having…
I’m not going to type out everything, but the last Facebook call I did on PC that ended Friday night/ Saturday morning at 2:13, before it ended, her roommate was calling 911….

I’m not entirely sure what was said to 911, but they showed up & at 3:03 AM, I got a text from her roommate using her phone that they’re in the waiting room of the hospital across the street from their apt. We texted back & forth until around 5:20 ish, she actually texted me, because her roommate had to take her brother home because he was falling asleep. We did a fb call around 6, & at that time it had been 3 hrs already. She was finally waiting for a bed as it almost reached the 5 hr mark of waiting in the waiting room…. I had to talk her out of leaving the hospital multiple times. I went upstairs at 8, & twisted mom’s arm to take me to the hospital to see her & just before I went back downstairs, she had finally gotten a bed. Me & mom left home at 9:26 AM & I walked in the hospital doors at 10:30 basically…. with the agreement I’d only be in the city for 2-3 hrs…. :/ which is better then nothing at all…

On the way to the hospital, she texted saying she’s been admitted, meaning she’d be staying there… I didn’t mention it in my previous posts, but she hates doctors altogether, so obviously she was scared about having to stay…. I found her shortly after asking the info desk where I walked in, where she was, then a security desk, which was a good thing, because he needed to give me a visitor sticker & buzz me through a set of doors, & then into the wrong waiting room & ask security again where she was…. After I left that waiting room, it was easy to find her. Left out of the doors & the 2nd right & she was literally straight through that doorway….

I was asked to leave shortly after I got there so a nurse could talk to her about everything. I could’ve went & eaten something at the cafeteria, but I didn’t. Instead I went & sat down in the hallway on a bench & was woken up by her roommate & roommate’s brother when they got there, asking what they were saying. All I could say was I was asked to leave so the nurse could talk to her. While we were all waiting I’m sure her roommate basically offered up their apt for me to stay at if I ever needed to. Shortly after we were able to go see her. No one really said anything, but that’s fine. We were all glad she’s okay. Then we were asked by her sister to leave so she could talk to her…. So we walked back out to the bench I was sitting at before. Her sister came out a while later at 11 something & said they’re releasing her.

We went out through the 2nd waiting room I walked into, & I found out that’s the entrance they came in. Both me & her roommate had to help walk her out because she hadn’t slept all night, & could barely stand herself. We walked her up to the apt, & straight to her bed so she could sleep. Since this was about noon, we got to the apt, & I had until 2:40 to be there, I just stayed there. We helped her get her jacket off & such so she could lay down & go to sleep. I went out & took my jacket off, & was asked if I’d like something to eat. I said yes obviously, as I hadn’t had anything to eat at all yet.

I went back into the bedroom after she asked & just sat on the floor next to the bed holding her hand for a bit, until she moved over on the bed, & then I laid down next to her. I almost dozed off at one point, but was woken up by soft footsteps of the cat on the bed…. then again when her roommate took the cat out of the bedroom. I think I was almost asleep at 12:30, 12:40 PM when I felt a soft tapping on my leg. I just shook it off at first because I thought it was nothing. Then I heard someone say my name & gently shake my shoulder. It was her roommate telling me the food is ready. Plus, I had asked the roommate to wake me up in case I fall asleep, or I look like I’m going to, because if I did, I’d never be awake in time to leave at 2:40…. Shortly after I started eating, I went back into the bedroom & she was awake, so I said the food was ready & asked if she wanted some. She did, so the roommate brought her some.

Her roommate had to leave at 1 something, but was going to call every hr to make sure she’s okay. I don’t think she turned her phones ringer on, because anytime her roommate texted her after she left & I was still there, I never heard her phone, but knew she got a text, because she said so. I was there until 2:40 & never left laying there with her. I could’ve fell asleep, but as I said above, had I fell asleep I wouldn’t have woken up in time…. It was nice to have her falling asleep next to me…. we could’ve “taken advantage” of being alone 😉 but we didn’t because it wasn’t the appropriate time. Honestly, having to leave was the hardest thing for me to do, because I love her, & know that after I leave she’d be alone & because I didn’t want to leave that feeling of being next to her while she’s sleeping…. :/ 😦

Anyways, I got home & then at 6:47 her roommate texted me asking if I’ve heard from her. Neither of us had heard from her. Last time I did was 3:00 shortly after I left the apt…. We were both 99% sure she was just sleeping, but we had no way of knowing because she wouldn’t answer any calls. While later (not sure what time) I tried calling her on Facebook & it said “In Another Call” so I knew she was okay. We video called for a bit until she said she was going to try sleep.

I signed off PC at 12:30 I think & started watching Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, & suddenly get a FaceTime Audio call from her….. She was sitting in the bathtub alone (apparently her roommate was staying out for the night), she was feeling sad but didn’t know why. She had me text her roommate, because she said she’d text her if she ever felt like that. I texted her roommate, but it took a while before she replied. We tried getting her on FaceTime audio too, but it didn’t work. The audio call ended after about 17 mins, which made me panic/ worry until her roommate said she’s talking to her….

I got a fb video call from her at 3:15 am & it lasted until 3:55. Everything was good then. We were talking about when I can get to the city again to see her, the possibility of her coming out camping this summer & how likely it’d be I could stay in the city with her for a weekend one time…. I went to sleep at 4:30 as I just couldn’t stay awake any longer. I was out like a light until 4 PM in the afternoon today.

Well when I finally woke up, I saw a message from her at 8:45, so I thought everything was good. Then I seen 2 missed Facebook voice calls…. One at 2:37 & another at 3:58…. the 3rd one was at 4:02, but that’s because messenger screwed up & only showed a black screen & wouldn’t let me answer, but kept ringing…. I closed messenger & restarted & called her back….

Wasn’t a good news call to say the least. It was her, saying we need to have a talk about things, right now. I asked about what, & she said our relationship…. Long story short, she wants to take a break…. she wants to focus on herself…. she still loves me, but she needs to focus on herself right now…. I didn’t get much more of an explanation & then she hung up…. I messaged her saying we should video call tonight & that I’ll try come to the city again…. All I got in response was, no we’re not video calling tonight & she doesn’t think it’s a good idea if we see each other again…. 😦 I asked if we can at least talk still & she said “Not right now. I think it’s best if we don’t”….

So, I basically lost her today…. I feel she will come back, because she said she still loves me, but idk for sure…. :/ 😦

I had texted her roommate Saturday night at 9:50 to say thank you for offering me food & sorry for not saying it at the time, but I was so tired that it completely blanked my mind to & that she didn’t have to. She replied with this message “No problem. I know I didn’t have to but you hadn’t eaten and you came all that way just to be with -Name Removed For Privacy-. None of her other boyfriends would have done that. You may have you’re moment’s when you make me angry but at the end of the day. You make -Name Removed For Privacy- really happy and that’s all that matters to me. Is that she is happy and she’s been alot happier since meeting you.” Me & her roommate texted a bit after that & ended with her telling me I can text her if I ever need to talk about something. This has significance to the next part of my post.

After she hung up the call & told me it’s best right now if we don’t talk, I messaged her roommate, first asking if what she said over text about messaging her if I ever need to talk about something still “counted” & she said yes. I explained I don’t know what happened, because we video called until 3:55 Saturday night & everything was good & then she had sent a message at 8:45 which again made me assume everything was fine. She replied that she needs to do what’s best for her, & right now that’s her not being with me…. 😦
I understand that, but her roommate knows I’m the happiest I’ve ever been because of her….

It went on for a bit, with it being said that I feel she will come back, because she said she still loves me & she used the word “break” & then it was said, I have to accept the fact that she may not come back. It’s a possibility & I have to be ready for that. That she just needs time…. :/ 😦

Anyways, this is probably the longest post I’ve made. That was the events of this weekend after I posted my March 24/2017 post. I honestly didn’t expect to wake up today to her saying we need to take a break, especially after Saturday with everything at the hospital & such.
I’m honestly hoping she comes back, because I we both felt (before today) that we’re both who we want to be with for the rest of our lives. I can still message her roommate if I need to talk. I just honestly hope she comes back, because she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life & up until today I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been, because of her. Her roommate admitted to me she sees how happy we make each other & like in the message she sent me, that I quoted above, her being happy is all that matters to her.

~ KR

P.S. Once again, these events may not be in “order” of how they actually happened, but rather the order I thought of them while typing this out. I think majority of these events are in the order they happened each day, with the exception of a few spots.
Also, no, neither of my parents know about her. Mom was pissed off about being at the expo center all day last Saturday (March 18), so it wouldn’t have been a good idea to have her meet mom then, & I felt her being in the hospital wasn’t the “best way/ opportunity” for mom to meet her either…

March 24/2017

So, just a shortish entry today, regarding meeting her yesterday.
It didn’t go well.
She unfortunately missed the last morning bus to town, so she phoned her sister to see if she would drive her there. Her sister said yes, but only be leaving the city at noon…. That was fine. I finally left home at 12:30, because when I originally went to leave, the battery of my vehicle was stone cold dead…. Did get it charged back up with dad’s help, but either way it was dead…

I got to town about 1 PM. I texted her & found out, her sister never came, nor even returned any phone calls asking where she is. She tried calling her mom, & her mom said she’d bring her, but ended the same, with no phone calls returned. She thought of a cousin, that while she doesn’t like riding with them, because they speed on the roads, they said they’d bring her. Same thing, no returned phone calls….

She was just going to take a cab to town as a “last resort” & then get a ride back from someone hopefully at 7 PM, or just take the bus back… Her mom works with the city, so she would’ve covered the cab. I found out at 2:37 (I think) that she phoned her mom around noon to find out if she had sent her money for the cab & she said it was sent, at noon & again at 2:30, but no money was there…. She also learned the 2nd time calling her mom about the money for a cab, that her sister, who had said she’d drive her, was actually with her mom having lunch at noon, but no one told her…. & no one would answer her phone calls….

I’m not going into detail into the rest of what happened after it was basically determined that she wasn’t coming, because no one would return her calls, but basically we didn’t get to see each other at all yesterday…. 😦
I still stayed in town, most of the day, to be out of the house & keep the battery charged up on my vehicle.

While we were FaceTiming at one point, she mentioned they get paid tomorrow (so today, March 24/2017) & she had the idea of getting to town somehow & staying for about 3 days, maybe a week at a hotel, starting on Monday (March 27, I think). However, while that is a good idea, since I went to town yesterday, it’s unlikely I’ll be allowed to go in again on Monday…. & even if I can go in, I’d very likely not be allowed to stay with her at the hotel, or even go in each day she’s there to see her….

Her roommate went out last night, so we basically had a night “to ourselves” & video called almost all night once I got home, until her phone died at 2:30 AM….

It’s difficult, but we’ve made it this far, & I feel that we’ll make it farther.

So, this ended up being a longer post then I thought. It is very likely that everything I described above is not in the exact order of things that happened.

~ KR